Saturday, December 17, 2011

Playing the Tooth Fairy

There's a few things they don't cover  in Parenting School.

One of them is Tooth Fairy agility skills.

Come to think if it, they don't cover much about Tooth Fairy theory either.

We added to the web of lies affectionately called childhood this past week.

First loose tooth became first lost tooth became first visit from the Tooth Fairy.

What do I possess in terms of Tooth Fairy theory?

Tooth Fairy origin?
I have no idea.

Tooth Fairy in practice?
Put tooth under pillow.
Tooth Fairy flies in.
Swaps tooth for cash.

What does she do with the accumulated teeth?
Satisfy her enamel addiction?
Create World Record tooth towers?
Tooth dominos?

According to my kids, "she just collects them."

We decorated an envelope for the impossibly small tooth.
Tucked it under the pillow at bedtime.

We did have Moose's Loose Tooth available for bedtime reading but we skipped it.

After 2+ hours of laboring over the loose tooth, we were all pretty tired.
(we agreed that loose tooth #2 shouldn't be so difficult...)

With the kids quickly asleep I realized I needed to spring into action.

First, the payment.
The Year 2011.

Other kids at school probably wake up to iPods under their pillow.

I settle on 25 cents.
But as I'm tucking a Quarter into the little envelope, I see a Dollar Bill on my dresser, so I tuck it into the envelope, too.

On to the Exchange.

Leaving just a sliver of light emitting from the nearby bathroom, I channel the traditional ninja.
Silent, I open the door.

The kids are deep asleep.

Cautious, I cease breathing.
I crawl to the bed, avoiding dolls, ponies, lollaloopsies, and countless hair accessories.

Initially, I thought I would need to lift the pillow.

You can safely slide your arm under the pillow for removal of the tooth.
Just as easily, you can substitute the cash.
Then, crawl out the room as inaudibly as you entered!

Pat yourself on the back.
You have successfully executed the Tooth Fairy task, as had I.

And tonight, for good measure, I'll play her uncle.
Santa H. Claus

...I wrote this post on my phone over the past week using the Blogger Android app (and Swype). It worked pretty well!


Anonymous said...

Your kids don't read your blog yet? Cuz if they do, SPOILER ALERT: you just killed 2 "childhood lies" in one post! Nice going.

Merry Christmas to you & your home crew! As usual, I'm online late... but hey, it's still Christmas Day, so I'm in under the wire. How was your holiday run? Was that sign-up you did months ago for a Kids' Fun Run after all? Did you dress like Rudolph?

Erin Conley said...

My oldest niece lost her first tooth last weekend as well. I saw her the day before, and she was a little bit freaked out about losing the tooth (pain and blood and all). In an attempt to make losing a tooth sound like it had an upside, I mentioned the tooth fairy and the money/prize left behind.

This intrigued my niece, who then, of course, asked, "But why does the Tooth Fairy want my tooth?"

Rookie aunt didn't have a quick answer for that one, but what I came up with ("Well, she likes teeth...") seemed to be good enough. Thankfully, I didn't have to actually be the one to do the tooth-for-money switch!

Nice job, and I hope you and your family had a lovely holiday.

Are you in on Janathon next week? I'm in because I need a swift kick in the behind to get me going with running and blogging again ;)

Unknown said...

There is a book "What Does the Tooth Fairy Do With All of those teeth?" At least, I think that's the title; it's really quite funny. Let me know if you can't find it and I'll send you a copy.
The tooth fairy often fails around here - something about kids being restless when she is flying by and she is afraid to wake them up.
Santa: he never fails. They are sound asleep - always - until about 5:00 a.m. on Christmas morning.
Merry Christmas, Mike!

Molly said...

One time, the Tooth Fairy forgot to get the tooth. She felt very guilty, so the next night, she had to up the ante to $5.

ihaverun said...


We had our first tooth fairy visit recently as well. And our second. The first was easier because she was afraid of the Tooth Fairy and left the tooth and a sweet little note in a box outside her door. The next one involved the tricky arm slide maneuver. The Princess decided the tooth fairy is tiny AND a girl, so fear became unnecessary.

Yay for the endless lies of childhood.