Saturday, December 17, 2011

Playing the Tooth Fairy

There's a few things they don't cover  in Parenting School.

One of them is Tooth Fairy agility skills.

Come to think if it, they don't cover much about Tooth Fairy theory either.

We added to the web of lies affectionately called childhood this past week.

First loose tooth became first lost tooth became first visit from the Tooth Fairy.

What do I possess in terms of Tooth Fairy theory?

Tooth Fairy origin?
I have no idea.

Tooth Fairy in practice?
Put tooth under pillow.
Tooth Fairy flies in.
Swaps tooth for cash.

What does she do with the accumulated teeth?
Satisfy her enamel addiction?
Create World Record tooth towers?
Tooth dominos?

According to my kids, "she just collects them."

We decorated an envelope for the impossibly small tooth.
Tucked it under the pillow at bedtime.

We did have Moose's Loose Tooth available for bedtime reading but we skipped it.

After 2+ hours of laboring over the loose tooth, we were all pretty tired.
(we agreed that loose tooth #2 shouldn't be so difficult...)

With the kids quickly asleep I realized I needed to spring into action.

First, the payment.
The Year 2011.

Other kids at school probably wake up to iPods under their pillow.

I settle on 25 cents.
But as I'm tucking a Quarter into the little envelope, I see a Dollar Bill on my dresser, so I tuck it into the envelope, too.

On to the Exchange.

Leaving just a sliver of light emitting from the nearby bathroom, I channel the traditional ninja.
Silent, I open the door.

The kids are deep asleep.

Cautious, I cease breathing.
I crawl to the bed, avoiding dolls, ponies, lollaloopsies, and countless hair accessories.

Initially, I thought I would need to lift the pillow.

You can safely slide your arm under the pillow for removal of the tooth.
Just as easily, you can substitute the cash.
Then, crawl out the room as inaudibly as you entered!

Pat yourself on the back.
You have successfully executed the Tooth Fairy task, as had I.

And tonight, for good measure, I'll play her uncle.
Santa H. Claus

...I wrote this post on my phone over the past week using the Blogger Android app (and Swype). It worked pretty well!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Like Eli

I did it.

I'm sure many others have been there at one point or another.

I signed up for a race.
That might be a Kids race.


Let's view the registered participants.

What's that?
You don't see me?


I looked at the participants before I clicked SUBMIT.
And since I got scared that it might be a Kids race, I opted OUT of displaying my name.

This is my hometown.
A 1-mile race ahead of the annual x-mas parade.
I do not believe this 1-mile race is held annually. Might be the inaugural?

Who's registered?
Again. My hometown.

I don't know any of these people!
And there's a bunch of kids!

Full disclosure.

I do know OF one person.
Our 28 year old mayor.
Fresh off a DUI conviction. Sweet!

What to do then?

Bring one of my kids along? And not race it?

Try to knock out a 5:30 mile?
But veer into the crowd if it looks completely uncool?

Ah, decisions.

Guess we'll find out on race day!